Shigeru Miyamoto, must have been in some kind of F’d up relationship with his girlfriend. He must have gotten his heart broken and decided to make a game based on his relationship to help men around the world relate and cope. Think about it! Princess Peach is the eternal cock-tease right? and we all know the drill: Peach gets knabbed by the forever horny Bowser and you, as Mario have to drop everything and claim countless lives just to get her ungrateful ass home. Peach makes absolutely no provisions to defend herself from her persistent captor, knowing all along that we’ll clean up all her shit. To make things worse she gets your awkward brother Luigi involved and now shes dragging your family in this shit. YOUR FAM BRO!

chicks…am I right?