It’s New Years Eve and you don’t know what’s in store. Tonight can either be one of the greatest nights of your life OR a huge disappointment. Don’t worry dude! I got your back. Just follow these steps and you just might make it home safely…maybe with a few fat b!*ches too. JK

1. Dress Appropriately
Yeah, lets go ahead and throw all that Ecko Red in the trash. Tonight, let’s try and stay away from the baggy stuff. Think sleek and well tailored…form fitting if you will. Try not to overdress, you don’t want to look like a pretentious douche do you?

2. Carry Cash and set a limit
We all can’t be T Pain…we can’t buy everyone drinks, and I’ve seen plenty of friends rack up a bill because they opened a tab with a credit card. Nothing worse than being stuck with a $600 bill that you can’t pay. Set a spending limit and carry cash. This way you can manage how much you drink and also manage who you’re buying drinks for, like that girl over there that you’ve been eyeing, the one with the huge mole on her forehead with hair growing out of it…you should probably rethink that.

3.Use your head!
Hopefully you’re not completely sh!t faced at this point. It’s almost time for the countdown and nobody likes to be alone for that midnight kiss. Remember to use that noggin of yours. Avoid any Exes, and try to find a nice chick, and by “nice” I mean, find someone who at least seems interested in you. Ever been shot down for a midnight kiss? yeah me neither.

4. Hydrate
Remember that the key to keeping your night going strong is NOT how many beers and cocktails you can drink but how much water you drink. 1 drink. 1 water. 1 drink. 1 water. This will also help with the hangover process tomorrow.

5. THE GOLDEN RULE
FOR THE LOVE OF GOD. FIND A DESIGNATED DRIVER. Don’t be a dipsh!t.